85lbs Yet So Far to Go

So much has happened since I began my weight loss journey in January of 2018. I’ve been on the keto diet, a macros diet, no diet, and now Weight Watchers. I lost 80 pounds, fell off the wagon, gained 10 pounds, lost those 10 pounds, stayed at the same weight for months. And now, today, I hit a milestone. 85 pounds dropped since I began. I now weigh 235 pounds. I started at 320. I started with a size 50 waistline. Now a size 38. I wore XXXL shirts. Now XL and sometimes large. My blood pressure has gone from 140 over 100 to 105 over 65. My thyroid medication has lowered.

Yet, today I took photos. And while I can absolutely see the huge difference, I still see all the fat hanging from my body. Some can be worked off still. Some, I fear, will remain until I can afford surgery (if I can ever afford surgery). I will fully admit, these pictures hurt me and frustrate me and scare me. Yes I am ecstatic about my weight loss. Yes I am still so motivated to lose the last 15-20 pounds I am aiming for. But these photos hurt me. All that fat is a constant reminder of the pain and suffering I inflicted on myself with bad eating habits, laziness, and so many more excuses. These photos are when I started compared to today. Hopefully by sharing them they help motivate me and maybe someone else.

will continue to take back my life, take control of how I look and how I feel about myself. The fat on my bones does not define who I am.

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