Confessions and Acceptance

When I began my weight loss journey nine months ago I set out to fix who I was as a person. Inside and out. I am forty years old, arthritic, sore, in pain most of the time. Changing my diet, being disciplined with what and how I eat, and adding in exercise has helped drop […]

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80 Pounds Lighter

80 pounds. 80 pounds that was pressing on my knees, my feet, and my mind. 80 pounds that was there at the end of 2017. Now gone. Hopefully forever. At this time last year I didnt have it in me to make the change. I had given up. I was a fat, 40 year old, […]

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Life Without Keto

Since January my eating habits have revolved around an ultra low carb, high fat diet. 25 grams of carbs a day, which is not a lot AT ALL. For comparison, one bagel is usually two days worth of carbs. I never planned to stay keto for 8 months but it worked so darn well I […]

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Fear is the Mind Killer

I wasnt sure what to expect when I started this blog. I thought it would be therapeutic to myself if I shared my journey. Maybe blogging would make me more accountable? Maybe my journey would help others, inspire others, motivate them? Probably a bit of everything. I’ve said before that I hate sharing photos of […]

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40 years old and angry

This journey has been more than just dropping weight to me. From the very beginning it has been a reset of who I am as a person. Yes I have focused mainly on my diet and a number on the scale but I have also found myself paying attention to my attitude and personality. To […]

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Back in the States

My trip is over and I am back in Texas. I still wont be home for a few more days, meaning I wont be weighing myself until Monday. Which I guess is a good thing? Maybe? I honestly have no idea if I gained or lost weight. My instinct says I did…I mean, I ate […]

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Wow. That’s pretty much all I can say at this point. We just finished up day three in Ireland. It’s amazing. The people, the towns, the views, the history….the food. Yes, as of the past three days, I am not following the keto diet. I’m not weighing myself daily like I was before. I had […]

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Reflection on a milestone

This is how I see myself. Pretty much all the time. This photo was taken 15 years ago while filming the movie Rolling Kansas. It was my first time working on a movie and was an amazing experience. Yet when I come across pictures of myself in that movie, I cringe. I just see a […]

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The Fat Remains

Losing 63 pounds has been amazing, don’t get me wrong. I’m starting to get regular compliments and I will admit it feels good. But my own self image has a long way to go. I dont consider myself a skinny person. Or even healthy person. Yes I’ve lost a lot of weight but I’m still […]

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DDP Yoga

I normally wake up at 615am to get my son ready for school. Its early. I dont like early. I also dont like being fat so today I set my alarm for 530am. I dragged my tired body out of bed and did a 22 minute DDP Yoga workout. I cursed a few times at […]

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For years I shopped at fat guy stores. I’ve had the same few pairs of jeans for years because I HATE clothes shopping. My jeans are size 50, crazy baggy, sagging everywhere. They are embarrassing…to me. Today I bought clothes in a “normal” store. Old Navy. Yes. I found a pair of jeans in my […]


Workout and shout out

Today is day 12 in the gym out of the last 16 days. Five days a week for the past 2 weeks and 2 days. I want to thank Joshua Samuel for giving me a workout routine that fits my experience, age, and ability. I’ve never met Joshua except in the social media world. He’s […]

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Stuck but ok?

My weight is still at a standstill. I havent dropped or gained any weight in more than 3 weeks. I am frustrated, yes, but not losing my focus. The two things that have changed in that time have been my thyroid medication dosage and I’ve added a new workout routine. Both probably are playing into […]

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Workout routine

I am on week three of a new workout program. Five days a week of isolated workouts! I never thought I’d be able to workout five days a week yet here I am. Each day works a certain part of the body. Monday: chest Tuesday: shoulders Wednesday: back Thursday: legs Friday: arms and abs. I […]

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